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I have a feeling my current conundrum wouldn’t even begin to register on the radar for most of you. Asking how someone should dress for a particular event or activity feels like uniquely British dilemma but you tell me.
I don’t think we’ve ever received an invitation to anything for which Grumpy has not asked me, “What’s the dress code?”
In England, this is especially true when asked to be a wedding guest. If it’s a daytime event, most gentlemen wear a “lounge” suit, aka a normal business suit, and ladies a knee-length dress with a hat or fascinator. If it’s a more formal or high-end affair, men might where a morning suit — a black or grey coat with tails, striped trousers, waistcoat and top hat, the latter of which is optional. If it’s an evening to-do, tuxedos and long formal dresses are called for.
More to the point, you’d get some pretty piercing sideways looks if you turned up in the wrong attire.
On a visit home a few years ago, we attended our first polo match. Although it was a sporting event on a muddy field, we still had to wear suits and dresses. You can imagine my horror when I discovered my luggage had missed the flight and I had to buy a replacement outfit at the last minute.
Our experiences here in the Midwest have highlighted how laid-back Americans are about this sort of thing. In a way, it’s quite refreshing. In this day and age, do men really need to don striped blazers and boater hats to watch a boating regatta?
The problem is if there’s no dress code, pretty much anything goes. I could play outfit bingo at almost any event we attend in Naperville and win every time. Whether it’s a New Year’s Eve ball or a garden club fundraiser, I know I’m going to see a young woman in a full-length sequined dress, a man in shorts, a T-shirt and baseball cap, a woman in high-heeled boots, a man in construction boots, a woman in shiny pumps she can only stand in for three minutes at a time, and at least three men in khakis and polo shirts.
I exaggerate, but not by much.
During the holiday season, half the attendees at a party will be wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. However festive they may look, don’t compliment them on their “bad” taste. There’s nothing worse than saying, “I love your ugly sweater,” and being told, “I think it’s beautiful. It’s the last thing my Grammy knitted for me before she passed.”
Planes are another good place to play the bingo game. Back in the 1960s, passengers generally dressed smartly in suits and dresses. While I did wonder about the practicality of such attire if you ever needed to exit in a hurry, it did elevate the whole experience (pun intended).
Nowadays, especially on long-haul flights, people seem to view planes as places to sleep. At least that’s the reason I assume more and more are wearing pajamas. While I can see the logic of this, and might even consider it myself if I ever got to fly first class, I’ve never seen a connection between sleep and sitting bolt upright in a tiny plane seat for nine hours.
Naperville Sun
There was once a time when people dressed up to go out for a nice dinner, but these days even Naperville’s finest steak houses don’t seem to care anymore. No more digging up a spare tie for the dad who didn’t wear one. Even casual shorts seem permissible. And why not? Once you’re sitting down with a napkin on your lap, who sees them?
If I had to cite my top three clothing dislikes, it would pajamas, Crocs and baseball caps, especially if worn together by the same person. Throwing a jacket over your fleece pj’s adorned with pictures of puppies doesn’t erase the fact that they are meant to be hidden beneath a comforter while sleeping — and, no, that doesn’t mean taking a summer nap along the Riverwalk. That’s especially true if the pictures are of your own dog. Chances are even he doesn’t want to see them.
Mulling it over, I think maybe it’s as much about age as it is about nationality. My dad was one of those men who always wore a shirt and tie, something he did even when he was struggling with Alzheimer’s in a care home.
He probably thought I was too casual when I wore jeans, and now we’ve come full circle and I’m complaining about people wearing pjs outside the home.
All I can say, times have changed and whatever you choose to wear, I hope you wear it well.—
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved to Naperville from England in 2007.