Chicago attorneys and providers who work with divorced families say the coronavirus and accompanying closures and complications have created a stream of questions among divorced parents.
What if one parent gets sick? What if a parent doesn’t seem to take health precautions about coronavirus as seriously? What if one is required to work, or what if one is laid off?
Divorce attorney Lester Barclay of the Barclay Law Group said he has received calls from families wondering about custody and visitation issues — whether a child living in an apartment building with one spouse is exposed to more germs in hallways and elevators, or concerns about sending children in Lyfts and Ubers or on planes for a visit.
One parent did not want a child to go to the other parent’s home because they felt the home was not sanitized enough; another did not want to let a child get on an airplane because they worried about a national travel ban.
“COVID has created serious family strain,” he said. “We’ve seen a lot of drama.”
Courts are closed except for emergencies, but an order from the Circuit Court of Cook County does allow phone mediations.
With courts closed and in-person meetings limited, J. Alex Jacobson at Jacobson Mediation Group said they have been offering telemediations, where parents can “meet” with a mediator and have attorneys participate remotely.
“Mediation is a very emotional process,” she said, and one that is ideal to do face-to-face. While there has previously been a need for phone or videoconferencing for issues like parents in different states, it is becoming common practice with coronavirus closures.
Jacobson, too, is hearing from families impacted by coronavirus. A client whose husband is a doctor worried about their kids’ exposure, but Jacobson noted that such a conversation also includes questions about healthy behavior overall — what about spouses who smoke or are still meeting up for social engagements?
“How do you say one is better or worse?” Jacobson said.
Of course, videoconferencing has its challenges.
“When somebody’s in my office and I’ve got them in there and they’re saying, ‘I’m going to leave if X, Y and Z doesn’t happen,’ I’m able to confer with them and help them understand,” she said. “When you’re remote or on a phone or on a computer, you can just hit ‘off.’”
No one has done that yet, and Jacobson said that having people connect through their homes actually a some bright spot — people might be more at ease.
“Tackling difficult issues, emotional issues, (while) they’re in the comfort of their own home, that’s a good thing,” she said. “There are some benefits to this.”
Barclay, too, noted silver linings; the seriousness of a global pandemic has softened some tones, he said.
“It’s forcing parents who ordinarily might not think too highly of each other to consider the art of compromise,” he said. “We have this pandemic, everyone’s looking at their life and they’re looking at their mortality. … What if you got sick? The other parent is the only parent that your child might have.”
He added, “People are looking a little bit more carefully inwardly.”
Barclay said parents should be flexible during this time, and stay informed about the latest health information on the virus. Put children’s safety and stability first, he said, and assure children that they can be safe in both home environments.
And, he said, “Keep your ego in check.”