Chicago dad Exavier Pope will tell you he aced homecoming dress selection for his 17-year-old daughter, Emory. He had a few ground rules, of course. The dress couldn’t have a plunging neckline, and the hemline had to be at “a reasonable level.”
Emory wore a strapless, black, ruched number from Express, black tights and lace-up boots this month to her final homecoming dance at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School. Pope described his daughter’s dress as feminine, beautiful and tasteful. His social media followers agreed when he posted pictures of his daughter on the big night.
One Twitter user commented: “She’s beautiful, fam! And I wish that’s the dress my daughter would’ve picked out. Don’t get me started ...”
In households across the Chicago area and around the country, the discussions — or in some cases, the tense negotiations — began as early as July, when dress shops started stocking gowns for homecoming. Feathers, tight fits and cutouts are some of the popular Hoco styles this fall as teens return to dance floors after two years of event cancellations during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Parents and teens are once again flooding social media with photos of their Hoco looks — inspiring new discussions about appropriate dress lengths. Barb Surdej of Peaches Boutique, near Midway Airport, said homecoming dresses are, on average, 2 to 4 inches shorter than they were five or so years ago.
“A lot of freshmen that go to homecoming, you know, it’s a shock for the mothers,” Surdej said about short dresses. “But by the time they’re seniors, the mothers are already, like, accustomed to this.”
In the Chicago area, many high schools have already hosted their homecoming dances. Several more were on tap this weekend, including Bartlett, Carl Sandburg, Englewood STEM, Evergreen Park, Highland Park, King College Prep, New Trier and St. Rita of Cascia.
For Chicago students, this is the first homecoming in years where indoor masking hasn’t been required. The focus can be on the fashion. In the last year, U.S. sales revenue of junior dresses reached $1.5 billion, an increase of 72% compared with the prior year, according to consumer data from market research company NPD. Apparel analyst Maria Rugolo attributes this jump to “the return to socializing.”
Kasia Pierga, owner of Kasia’s Bridal & Special Occasion Boutique, said she struggled with leftover inventory during the pandemic, so she hesitated to stock her Portage Park store with very short dresses for homecoming. She said she didn’t want to risk being stuck with a supply that some teens couldn’t even purchase because of their school’s rules for evening attire.
She recalled the fingertip rule — whereby dresses and skirts had to extend beyond the fingertips when standing up straight — being the standard when she attended high school in the mid-1990s. The mothers of her clients share similar memories as they shop with their daughters, especially these days.
“We’ve definitely noticed the dresses are shorter than ever,” Pierga said.
Pierga said for homecoming this year her store offered glitzy bridesmaid dresses off the rack at a substantial discount to clients so they could decide the hemline. She said she also sold a lot of long dresses the store cut to a length agreed upon by the parents and the daughters.
Pierga has witnessed her share of mother-daughter squabbles in the two decades her store has been open. “They’re still arguing about the length. It’s not going to die. This will be an argument forever and a day,” Pierga said. “‘That dress is too short.’ ‘Mom, this dress is too long. I wanted shorter.’ ... ‘If you want it shorter, I’m not getting it.’ That’s kind of like the same thing that happens every single year.”
Pierga said inflation was top of mind this year, which affected dress budgets. Her clients tend to splurge on prom instead of homecoming. Chicago shop owners say prom-goers generally gravitate to longer gowns while shorter dresses are popular for homecoming.
Surdej counts among this year’s homecoming trends one-shoulder dresses and the colors emerald green and hot pink, the latter a nod to the Barbiecore aesthetic that has gained steam in the lead up to Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie” movie due out next year.
Peaches Boutique opened in 1985, and Surdej said she has seen it all — including motherly pushback on short dresses.
“I coached in a Catholic school, so I understand that the lengths really are short. But I try to explain to them that those are the trends,” Surdej said about gently counseling reluctant mothers. Your daughter “wants to look like the rest of the girls. She doesn’t want to look like mommy dressed her.”
Surdej said to ease concerns, she suggests wearing “booty shorts” under short dresses, like the ones cheerleaders sport on football fields; purchasing a larger size for the extra length and tailoring the rest of the dress; or selecting a longer dress altogether.
Some kids have limited choices. Southland Ministry Center, set to host a teen homecoming Saturday in Bensenville, instructed attendees to don semiformal attire. “As a church-sponsored event, our dances require modest clothing, meaning things are not too tight or revealing,” the directions read.
Students at St. Rita, an all-male Catholic high school on the Southwest Side, were told their female guests must wear “age-appropriate, modest dresses. (Hemlines and slits must be moderate. Dresses must not have immodest necklines, visible midriff, immodest cutouts or low backs).”
Also on the Southwest Side, the Chicago High School for Agricultural Sciences has a set of rules for its shindigs. The Oct. 22 homecoming dance is expected to draw 600 students — a return to pre-pandemic numbers. Principal William Hook said attendees are being asked to wear semiformal attire, such as dresses; suits or sports jackets with ties; dress slacks and dress shoes.
Clothing that is inappropriate for dances at the Chicago public school include, but is not limited to, work boots, gym shoes, jeans, jean skirts, sweatsuits, sweatpants, sweatshirts and athletic jerseys. Hook said his students have adhered to the guidelines.
“If someone came in and blatantly (wore something) inappropriate,” Hook said, “we would have an issue and probably call the parent. In my recent recollection, I don’t recall anyone doing that.”
The divide over what teens should and shouldn’t be wearing to homecoming has renewed battle lines on Facebook. A Texas woman’s Oct. 2 post decrying the “homecoming pictures of your daughters in tiny dresses barely covering their bum” generated hundreds of supportive reactions, comments and shares. But, of course, not everyone agrees that floor-length dresses are the way to go.
Vikki Kochevar, the mother of two daughters who graduated from Stevenson High School in Lincolnshire, called the social media discourse over homecoming hemlines mind-boggling.
“I think that people need to recognize when they are being judgmental. I think it can be very hurtful to girls who might be reading it, to girls’ mothers. It comes from such a place of trying to shame someone, and I think as women we just need to do better,” Kochevar said.
She continued: “I think we need to support each other and just be kinder. What a girl chooses to wear does not define her intelligence, her self-worth. They’re not seeking attention. They’re just trying to make themselves feel good.”
Seventeen-year-old Stephanie Granobles said she picked a short, black, strapless dress with a cutout in the chest area from her cousin’s closet at the last minute for Whitney Young’s homecoming. She noticed the majority of the girls at the dance were wearing short dresses.
“For me, there have never been ground rules, or really control from my parents on what I can wear and more specifically, what I can’t wear. And I’ve always really appreciated that. It’s allowed for a form of self-expression, but also this freedom that’s really empowering,” said Granobles, who lives in the Jefferson Park neighborhood.
She mused whether, subconsciously, girls and women are showing more skin to break away from societal control and norms that have equated skin to sexualization.
“I think there are a lot of factors, but for some girls and sometimes for myself, it’s just as simple as it’s what we feel best in and it’s what we feel confident in,” she said.
Emory Pope said she felt a little self-conscious among a sea of teens in shorter dresses at Whitney Young’s dance. Though she praised her dad’s pick, she only rated the experience of homecoming dress shopping with him a 7 out of 10.
Her father — an attorney and media personality known for rocking stylish suits — seemed surprised. He had even taken the extra step of purchasing a strapless bra for her to wear with her dress, which was unfamiliar territory for him.
Emory hinted that she would have given her dad a higher score if he had tossed in some jewelry and makeup as well.
“Of course,” Pope said with a laugh.